The Grandchild’s Guide: How to Connect with Grandparents with Memory Concerns
Your grandparent is still your grandparent, even if their memory has changed. This guide helps young people maintain special bonds across generations.
Understanding What’s Happening (Age-Appropriate):
For Younger Kids (5-10): “Grandma’s memory is like a photo album where some pages got mixed up. The feelings and love are still there, even if the order is confusing.”
For Tweens/Teens (11-17): “The part of Grandpa’s brain that stores new memories isn’t working well, but his love for you and many old memories remain strong.”
Activities by Age Group:
Young Children Can:
- Draw pictures to share
- Sing simple songs together
- Look at animal photos
- Give gentle hugs
- Help with sticker activities
Tweens Can:
- Read short stories aloud
- Do Joy Jar together
- Share school photos
- Play simple music
Teens Can:
- Record family stories
- Create photo albums
- Do gentle exercises
- Share their interests
- Lead conversation games
The GRAND Connection Method:
Greet warmly every time
Remind who you are naturally
Accept their reality
Notice what makes them smile
Do activities together
| What to Say: | What NOT to Say: |
| ✓ “Hi Grandma, it’s me, Sarah, your granddaughter” | ❌ “Don’t you remember me?” |
| ✓ “Tell me about when you were young” | ❌ “You already told me that” |
| ✓ “I love spending time with you” | ❌ “That’s wrong” |
| ✓ “You’re important to me” | ❌ “Why can’t you remember?” |
| ✓ “What’s your favorite…?” | ❌”That doesn’t make sense” |
Making Visits Special:
- Bring consistent identifying item (same color shirt)
- Create ritual greetings
- Keep visits shorter but regular
- Focus on feelings, not facts
- Celebrate small connections
Building Lasting Memories: Even if they forget your visit, the feeling of being loved remains. You’re creating memories for yourself and showing love in action.